While we are on the subject:
I don't think anyone will ever love me. I stay fat to keep people away. I am afraid of success.I am afraid of finally accomplishing something, anything. It means I've wasted all my goddamn life beings second rate because I am afraid. I stand still. I use people. I am afraid to go to college. I do not want to buckle under pressure. I don't want sex. I can't even touch myself.
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Sick of playing for the orchestra, preaching to the choir? It is my cherished personal hope that all of the greatest works of music vanished into the aether unheard and unrecorded. How banal existence would truly be if everything beautiful was purchased and consumed.
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